You decided to dip your toe into the world of dating. Why not, right? You downloaded the apps, made a few matches, but now you find yourself stuck in a downward cycle of bad dates, ghosting, and overall blah. What can you do?
Alright, ladies, let’s be honest here: dating at 50+ is a whole different ballgame, right?
We’ve lived, we’ve loved, we’ve been through marriages, breakups, maybe even a midlife crisis or two (or someone else’s, but that’s for another post). And yet, here we are, dipping our toes back into the dating pool.
But if you’re finding yourself stuck in a cycle of bad dates, ghosting, or just zero sparks, here are some ways to make it out.
YOU’RE DATING LIKE IT’S 1995
I get it. Back in the day, dating was literally the opposite of what it is today.
We would meet someone through friends, or by locking eyes at a party or bar, and then flirt for a bit, until finally saying hello and chatting. Once you determined that you liked their look and personality, you arranged a date. I repeat, you met in person first, then agreed on a date.
Times have changed.
Today, we connect online, send a few messages back and forth, then agree on a date. We meet in person as the final step instead of the first – the opposite of the old days.
We all agree that things are entirely different in today’s dating world, so we need to make sure that our mindset is different too in order to not dread the dating world, and maybe even *gasp* find someone we really like.
WHAT NEEDS TO CHANGE?
#1. Ditch the Checklist.
You know that 47-point checklist you’ve got in your head? Tall, full head of hair, fit, happily divorced, wealthy, etc. Well, we’re not ordering a custom handbag—we’re looking for a real, flesh-and-blood human being who, like you, could have some history and some challenges.
He could’ve succumbed to the COVID 20lb weight gain, but he’s working hard to take it off. He could be below your “typical” height preference, but should that be a dealbreaker? Having a “must have” list is certainly okay, after all, we all need to maintain our standards. But try to focus less on the superficial stuff and you may be pleasantly surprised.
#2. Stop Dating Like You’re in Your 20s.
Being silly, overly flirtatious, or worse of all, outright crass, won’t attract the kind of quality man you’re looking for. We are grown-ass women, and if we like someone, we should say so.
Now, this definitely does not mean you should put your life on hold for any man, being available at the drop of a hat and waiting with bated breath for his next message or phone call.
No!
You continue with your full and rewarding life and wait to see how things evolve. And if they’re not interested? Move on! There are plenty of amazing men out there who will be.
#3. Get Comfortable with Online Dating
Yes, online dating can feel weird, but its here to stay, so there is no use in fighting it. No, you’re not too old for it. And yes, there are good men on there (along with a lot of fish photos, but hey, that’s life).
Online dating is how people meet now—it’s the modern version of being introduced at a party. So set up a killer profile (see our piece on dating profiles), get some flattering photos, and start swiping.
#4. Be Open to Different Types of Men
Maybe you always dated the same kind of guy, stuck on a certain “look” for years. Guess what? Some of the best men you’ll meet might not be what you expected.
Chemistry isn’t always instant, but connection grows when you give someone a real chance.
#5. Drop the ‘Men Are Trash’ Attitude
Some men are trash, and some aren’t. If you walk into every date assuming the guy is going to be a liar, a cheater, or another disappointment, you’ll probably be right.
Men aren’t perfect (newsflash: neither are we), but if you go in with an open mind, you might just be surprised. Also, think of how much you like hearing a man say, “All women are flakes” or something similar. It isn’t very nice, is it? Positivity is attractive so try it!
The Bottom Line?
Dating at 50+ is a whole new world, and the biggest mistake you can make is refusing to adapt. Drop the outdated expectations, be proactive, and most importantly—have fun!
Love is still out there, but you have to be willing to meet it halfway.
Now, go fix that dating profile and start saying ‘yes’ to new possibilities. You’ve got this!
